Meet your online date, safely!

January 5th, 2008

Online dating “may seem like a convenience for some people, but you don’t really know who is on the other end, There are some simple ways to check into a potential partner’s background.

Start by typing their name into Google or another search engine to see what comes up. You can also try an online database search through a fee-based service such as 192.com or tracesmart.com.

But these searches only work if you have the person’s real name and you have to have good, solid information for these checks to work.

If you have that information hiring a private investigator is a good way to check up on a romantic partner. Private investigators also search public databases and can get information including bankruptcies, professional licenses and divorces.

Background checks are a growing part of my business. I estimate that 90 percent of my clients conducting a trace are women. Most are people who have been married and divorced before and they tend to be a little older and a little wiser.They are finding inconsistencies and things aren’t quite lining up.They are really listening to what this person is telling them.

Red flags may include talking around certain subjects or talking in general terms, even when asked a specific questions.

A basic trace by a private investigator costs £100 to £300, but it is inexpensive compared to getting involved with someone who is not who they say they are. A background check can prevent a broken heart.

You should pay attention to your gut feelings about people that you meet. Lots of people develop a sixth sense, but they don’t listen to it because they can’t put their finger on what the problem is. Because they can’t identify the cause of their uncertainty, they rationalize away concerns and end up as a victim of a broken heart, or worse. So when you get that rotten feeling in your stomach, stop. Back up. Reassess the situation.”

Watch your back

Here are some of my tips for your first few dates with an online match:

• Meet in a public place, where there are lots of people around.

• Only give your first name until you know you get to know your date.

• Drive yourself to the meeting. Don’t rely on your date for a ride.

• Tell someone where you’re going and when you’ll be back.

• Have a mobile phone with you.

• Limit your alcohol intake.

• Don’t leave drinks unattended. If you must leave the table, order another drink when you get back.

• If the relationship progresses, go slow.

• Listen to your instincts.

Posted in Tracing |